Deep Inside...

When I am in my wheelhouse I feel confident. That is especially true at church. I can break things down theologically like nobody's business and there are many that look up to me.

I also have a good friend I met online who is 16 now. We have known each other for a couple years and I have been able to fill a father role for her when she needs fatherly advice. She says that I am her hero.

In all honesty, given my addiction I don't feel very heroic. I struggle with an addiction that fills me with shame. I know that the only hope I have is in God. It is only his gifts to me that allow me to be a leader at church and a father figure to my friend. In truth I have a lot of work to do, but I am doing the work.

Lately, I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me, I'm hiding all the tears

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor the warrior is a child

Unafraid because His armor is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies that lay me at His feet

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor the warrior is a child

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and look up for a smile
'Cause deep inside this armor, deep inside this armor
Deep inside this armor the warrior is a child